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The Moon In Aquarius Blog

Are you a Kathryn, Annette or Cecile? Cruel Intentions Edition

Are you a Kathryn, Annette or Cecile? Cruel Intentions Edition

1999 was arguably the best year ever. I'm sorry, what? How so? Let's roll out the bullet points:

  • The Sopranos season premiere
  • Britney Spears first performance alongside N*SYNC at the MTV Video Music Awards. (This was my Grammy's)
  • The Blair Witch Project scaring the living shizz out of me, even more than the Y2K scare.
  • The happiest song to hit the airwaves - Len "Steal My Sunshine"
  • The epic demise of Woodstock 99'. (Peep the netflix doc called Trainwreck: Woodstock 99'. Highly rec)
  • And of course...Cruel Intentions.

I can confidently say that this movie changed the course of my life at the ripe age of 14. No shame here. The dark humor mixed with the moody school girl aesthetic was fulfilling my teenage dirtbag dream. So it was obvious that I would gravitate towards Kathryn's dark yet posh (spice) style. In homage to this classic movie that me and my best friend would incessantly quote (and even till this day), we curated jewelry pieces for each cruel leading lady. Which one are you?

Shop These Looks!

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My Favorite Mamas on the Gram

My Favorite Mamas on the Gram

After becoming a mother, I’ve noticed my interests have shifted a little. I used to just follow people for style tips or beautiful pictures and I still do that, but now I notice myself actively following moms I can relate to. The Insta-moms I follow are funny, witty and stylish. The most important thing that they all actively do is, maintain their sense of self while still making motherhood a priority. It’s easy to lose yourself when you’re a caretaker. You really have to make it a point to do those little things that make you feel like yourself. Following these women is a constant reminder to me, to make sure I don’t lose myself. 

I’m going to start off with Bethany Ciotola (@bethanyciotola). She is a mother of four! She has amazing effortless style. I love her aesthetic. She shares content about her sons and her home updates. I first discovered her on TikTok but she started off her career with her blog, Bethany and Her Boys. Her humor is unmatched. Bethany is a Gemini. I know a lot of people may not, but I always vibe well with Geminis. I also love that she has four children. It’s so interesting to me how people with that many children make it work. I’m over here with only one child, struggling to take the time to pee. 

Next up is Bekah Martinez (@bekah). You may remember Bekah from her time on The Bachelor. I don’t remember her from that because I don’t watch The Bachelor but I did watch one season of The Bachelorette( Clare/ Tayshia) so I do understand the appeal. She does a Podcast called, Chatty Broads and has an eco-conscious clothing line. She has two children. Bekah sharing the birth of her children was one of the main reasons I wanted a water birth. The videos were so beautiful and such a peaceful way for a baby to enter the world. Even though, that didn’t work out the way I wanted, I still think that content was so moving. The thing that’s great about Bekah is that she is unapologetically herself. 

Most recently I began following, Sarah Nicole Landry (@thebirdspapaya). She is a writer and her content is about motherhood and body positivity. Sarah is a mother of four. Her content promotes realistic beauty standards for mothers and women in general. Our babies are about the same age and I love how she dresses her baby, Lemmie. It gives me a lot of ideas for dressing my babe. Sarah is very stylish and her nursery is really so perfect. My favorite thing about her is how she works tirelessly to normalize postpartum mom bods. Your body goes through so much while being pregnant and your mind goes through even more. It’s empowering and important for women to feel like they aren’t alone throughout their pregnancy and after. 


Pregnancy and Motherhood is a beautiful thing and a hard thing. It has been really critical for me to have women I can relate to. These three women have definitely provided me with a lot of comfort and inspiration, especially because I have recently moved across the country and am not close to my family and friends. If you have kids or have recently had your first child, do yourself a favor and follow these amazing women. 

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Motherhood and All The Emotions That Go With It

Motherhood and All The Emotions That Go With It

 I’ve seen this trend on TikTok. It starts off with a woman and her child. The woman narrating says, “I love you but.. I miss her.” Then, images of the woman before she had her child come up on screen. I find this trend heartbreaking because of how true it is. To maintain who you are/were before you had a child takes so much work. I just had my baby only a little over a month ago and I’m not the same person I was before. I feel a wide range of emotions; blessed,  frustrated, completely drained, happy, sad,  and guilty for feeling all of these emotions. I knew motherhood wouldn’t be easy but I completely underestimated how hard it would be. 

 While I was pregnant, I had a birth plan and was really excited to be having the birth I had envisioned, a water birth. I took classes at a birthing center and was under the amazing care of midwives and doulas. I felt incredibly secure. When I passed the 41 week mark, I began to get a little nervous. You can only have a birth center birth before 42 weeks. A day before my 42nd week of pregnancy, my birth center broke the news that I would probably need to go to the hospital. I just started crying. I hate publicly crying but I couldn’t stop. My water had broke but I had not gone into labor. This posed a risk for my baby, so I ended up having to go to the hospital. 

 There’s a lot of reasons why I didn’t want to go to the hospital. My mom and husband were with me and in the birthing center, you could have up to three people in the room. I wasn’t sure what the hospital rules would be. Another reason was I would not be able to have a water birth or anything I had planned. But regardless of my plans, this is what was happening, this is what had to happen. I went into the hospital feeling scared and completely helpless. I didn’t know what to expect. I had never been admitted to a hospital. When we got there, we were welcomed warmly and luckily they allowed two visitors and a licensed doula. My birthing center sent over a doula. I felt more secure again. 

 They had to check my cervix multiple times to see how dilated I was. If you’ve ever had that done before, the process is extremely unpleasant and you don’t get desensitized to it. Another added bonus for me, apparently my cervix is really hard to reach and they really had to dig for it, sometimes unsuccessfully. We were in the hospital for 2 days before the actual delivery and had three doulas with 12 hour shifts each come to assist, trying to get me to go into labor. The doulas were absolutely incredible and having my mother and husband there, was amazing and necessary. It breaks my heart that some people aren’t able to have the support they need right now. I had two rounds of Pitocin and each time I would reach the strength of 20, the baby would go into distress. The first time this happened, everyone rushed in the room. They strapped an oxygen mask on me and I had literally no idea what was going on. I legitimately thought I was going to die. They came in so fast no one had time to explain to me why. I had to search my husband and mother’s expressions for some indication as to what was going on. They seemed concerned but calm and although my body was shaking uncontrollably because of the hormones, I was only calm because of them. They later admitted, they only stayed calm for me. 

After that, the nurse who was attending me, came in and checked my cervix again. I was only at 4cm(To give birth you need to be at 10cm). I hadn’t progressed since arriving at the hospital a day and half before and basically she gave me the option of doing the Pitocin again to try to go for a natural birth (which was my plan), or have a C section. She recommended the C section. I was worried that if I had the Pitocin again the same thing would happen and because my water had been broken for two days at that point, the risk of infection for my baby was a big concern. I cried publicly again and made the decision that it would be best for the baby to have a C section. One of my first questions was, could I wear my underwear? Everyone thought, what a ridiculous question. I mean at least that was the look on their faces. I’ve been a never nude for most of my life. Most people think I’m joking when I say that but, I’m not. The answer was, I would have to be completely naked in a room full of strangers. In the past, that would’ve been so terrifying to me but now, I couldn’t even focus on my own discomfort. The only thing running through my mind was my baby who was struggling every time the Pitocin was introduced. 

 After I made the decision, I waited. My baby had stabilized and there were women who were higher risk that needed a C section more urgently than I did. This was making me even more anxious about the procedure. Finally, it was my turn. They wheeled me in. I was too tired to even focus. I was wondering if I would even have the energy to stay awake. The procedure started. My husband, all the doctors and nurses were the only ones in the room. I had an epidural prior to the C section so I didn’t feel any pain, just pressure. I was holding my husband's hand and closing my eyes. I was falling asleep and in disbelief that this was happening, in the way that it was. I felt sad at that moment. I was unsure whether my baby would be okay and I was extremely uncomfortable. Then, I heard her cry. It sounded a little gurgled and after I heard her, I immediately felt energetic and happy in a way I can’t explain. It was like everything melted away and all I could focus on was her. They put her on my chest and at that moment, I became a mother. 

We spent a few more days in the hospital which despite the staff being amazing, was a nightmare. I hate hospitals. My mom, husband, and baby were so uncomfortable and I hated seeing them that way. The food was delicious, which was surprising. I was the only one that liked the food. However, after my first shower there, I was ready to go. 

We ended up going home two or three days after the C section. I pushed myself to hit all the milestones that would allow me to leave. When we were all home, we felt so much more at ease. The baby is a little over a month now. Do I feel like myself yet? Absolutely not. It was really hard at first being so sleep deprived and trying to read the baby’s mind. I’m getting better at it everyday. The hardest part is not having time to do the things you once enjoyed or the little self care things that make you feel like a human. People ask about my labor and delivery only to push aside my feelings of disappointment, anxiety,  and sadness. What they will usually say is, at least you have a healthy baby that’s all that matters. That is definitely the most important thing but that is not the only thing. We are asked so often to push aside parts of our emotions because of how that sounds. Oh, you’re sad about your labor and delivery? You must not be grateful. That isn’t the case. I’m capable of multiple emotions like most people are. I would simply request if you ask about someone’s emotions, to just listen. There’s nothing you really have to add to it. You can listen without judgement. It’s hard enough to be a mother. With that being said, now knowing firsthand how much goes into motherhood. I look at my mother with even more love and admiration. She is an absolute queen and hero to me. I hope I can be even half as good a mother and person, as she is. 

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My Succulent Family

My Succulent Family

I always viewed gardening as some boring-ass hobby that my mother would obsessively do. Sure flowers are pretty to look at, but I never really stopped to think that these are living things.  It wasn't until my mother went on a small vacation a few years ago and made me responsible for her plants and outdoor garden. I saw firsthand how these plants showed you that they needed you. My Cancer maternal instincts went into overdrive. They depended on me and I wasn't going to let them down. Now in my mid 30s, it feels like now I depend on them. Nuturing them brings me such peace that my problems momentarily dissipate. 

Succulents PeacefulPlants and my Pitbull

Here are some of my newest additions and my OG succulents. 

String of Pearls Houseplant
String of Pearls (Senecio Rowleyanus)
Native to: South West Africa

This was such a sweet surprise from my mother. I expressed interest in this type of succulent after seeing it hung outside a florist shop. It’s so whimsical and cartoony. All I want to do is place them into those ceramic head sculpture pots. I mean, how could this not bring you infinite joy?

String of Pearls Up Close Houseplant

String of Pearls Care
•These pea strings love plenty of sunlight. An abundance of indirect sunlight is recommended.
•This trailing houseplant can be a bit finicky, make sure you wait until the pearls look a bit deflated to water them. It’s best to underwater than overwater!
•They can grow up to 3 ft long! 

Burros Tail Houseplant
Burros Tail (Sedum Burrito)
Native to: Southern Mexico

This was also gifted to me the same day as the String of Pearls. I was so giddy when I saw this plant. Those plumpy leaves! My first mistake was touching it. My heart sank when 6 leaves fell off. After a quick Youtube research, I realized that this plant is super delicate and it’s best to not even breathe around them. The good news is that the fallen leaves can easily be propagated. That’s what I love about succulents. They can be rebirthed and start all over again.

String of Pearls and Burros Tail Succulents

Burros Tail Care
•These bushy pups thrive in filtered light/bright shade.
•They can grow to 6ft long! How cool is that?
•If you notice some flower growth, that means your plant is living its best life and you are doing everything right. Congrats!
•Water is stored within the leaves, so if it’s looking a bit pruney, that’s your cue to water them.

Jade Succulent House Plant
Jade (Crassula Ovata)
Native to: South Africa

My brother received this plant as a thank you gift for attending a friend's wedding about 10 years ago. He wasn’t interested in taking care of it, so my mother and I stepped in. I can’t believe this plant started off in a small glass jar and now it’s taking up my entire window sill. We propagated this plant into several planters throughout the years. My mother and I jokingly said if we could manage to keep the mother plant alive, than the marriage will last. The couple divorced 4 years ago...🤷🏽‍♀️

Jade wild plantSucculents wild plant


Jade Care
•These babies LOVE direct sunlight. Recommended 4 hours of sunshine.
•Water only when the soil is dry to the touch
•If it lives on a window sill, don’t let it touch the glass! Its leaves can burn or get frostbite. I definitely made that mistake!
•Make sure it lives in a pot with drainage. You will avoid root rot and heartbreak!

 Never thought I would be a plant mom, but here I am. Sure it can be laborious, costly, and heartbreaking when you make mistakes but seeing my babies flourish makes it all worth it.💚

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My Favorite Small Business NYC Coffee Shops

My Favorite Small Business NYC Coffee Shops

My idea of a splurge these days is getting coffee that is not brewed from my kitchen. That being said, these NYC based coffee shops are some of my favorites when I feel like treating myself.


Konditori Brooklyn
Konditori- 186 5th Avenue, Brooklyn, NY
One day while while I was thrifting around Brooklyn with my mom, I was craving an iced mocha latte like a madwoman. I took a chance on this Swedish espresso bar and I was blessed with the best mochas I’ve ever had. I’m not exaggerating. I think about this drink often. I’ve had this both iced and hot, equally amazing. 

Marthas Country Bakery
Martha’s Country Bakery- 41-06 Bell Blvd, Bayside, NY
This bakery is such a classic in Queens. They have a ridiculous variety of pastries and cakes ...and their coffee is great too!  This bakery has such a cozy, cottage feel to it, really got me in my cottage-core feels.  My bestie loves the mocha latte and she insists you order a slice of the Lemon Coconut cake. I can see her drool all the way from Arizona. 


Tiny Pumpkin

Tiny Pumpkin- 216-21 Northern Blvd, Bayside, NY
The name alone is the reason why I decided to try this place. How can you pass it up? I was immediately welcomed so warmly by the owners. I knew this place was going to be special. My bestie and I tried their pumpkin latte and I was shooketh. I’m not a fan of pumpkin anything but this really won me over. You can taste the pumpkin in such a lovely way. Felt like a warm pumpkin hug.


White Noise Flushing

White Noise Coffee Co- 4102 162nd St Flushing, NY
This Flushing coffee shop is dear to my heart. It’s not only 5 minutes from my home but it has a dope Brooklyn- loft aesthetic with the most lovely plant decor to go with it. Their dark mocha latte is divine- not too sweet, not too bitter-- just how I like it. Try their matcha lattes too! My bestie is a matcha connoisseur and this happens to be the only thing she orders.

I think it’s important more than ever to support small businesses, like the ones I mentioned. I've been so tempted to run and try that new Starbucks Oatmilk Espresso (you know what's up), but I know that I mustn't forget my local coffee shops. Starbucks will always be there but these small businesses are the heart of our communities. 

Check out our Youtube video we made (pre-pandemic),  where we search for some amazing lattes!


 **We do not own the rights to all images included in this blog**

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The Best things about Pregnancy and all the Hiccups along the way

The Best things about Pregnancy and all the Hiccups along the way

I’m now 37 weeks pregnant! I feel like I’ve been pregg for an eternity. That being said, pregnancy is different for every single person; this is just my experience being pregnant. I really want to focus on the positive aspects of being pregnant because it’s much easier for me to write how difficult things were at times. However, focusing on the negative aspects would be a drag for you to read and for me to relive. 

One of best things about pregnancy is letting go of the societal expectation of how you should look. Throughout my life, I’ve felt a tremendous pressure to not gain too much weight at any given time. I was blessed with a slow metabolism, so it was difficult at times to remain mindful of my weight while still enjoying desserts with friends and things like that. Pregnancy is so freeing in that aspect because you can definitely indulge more and people(knowing your pregnant) don’t really say anything. Apparently, pregnant women are notoriously sensitive. Although, I didn’t find that I was particularly sensitive until the 3rd Trimester. People keep that in mind when interacting with you, most of the time. I did get that, “Wow, you got big,” which was cute and my death stare let them know, that wasn’t okay. They quickly corrected that sentence. I think if I weren’t pregnant, a statement like that would make me cast my eyes down in shame. 

When you are pregnant, children smile at you and strangers are kind, most of the time. I think children must know what’s going on with you somehow. They love to stare, shyly smile, and wave. It’s very sweet. Strangers will move out of your way or let you go through the doorway first. They will say hello to you and they look at you in a way I can’t really explain but it feels very kind. However, people at Walmart are the exception to this. 


Generally, your friends, family and partner will be understanding of your mood swings and forgetfulness. At least, I’m fortunate that mine were. I found myself a little unpleasant entering my third trimester. I noticed I had a really short fuse and simple comments would annoy me for the entire day. I read into things way too much. I would apologize when I realized and everyone was so understanding of this change in me. That was an amazing relief because I’m very aware of hurting someone’s feelings and will try to avoid being too insensitive or direct usually; but it was hard to control and be mindful of that during pregnancy. 

I think the hardest thing was the constant discomfort and being very aware of what you do and eat impacting the life inside of you. Perhaps, it is because this is my first baby but there’s a lot of pressure to do everything “the right way.” I also hate when people compare their pregnancy experience to yours. If you ask, to find commonalities, that’s fine. It’s when people offer up their experiences and then act surprised when your experience isn’t the same as theirs. Pregnancy is unique to every person. Sometimes, people will love it and other times, people will straight up not have a good time. For me, I fall somewhere in the middle. 


The very best thing about being pregnant is the life that you have the privilege of bringing into the world. Being a parent, whether through pregnancy, adoption, or even to an animal; is an extremely important role. For everything that’s great and everything that’s hard about it, the end result is more than worth it. 

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My Short but Sweet Valentine's Day Movie List

My Short but Sweet Valentine's Day Movie List

 Valentine’s Day is almost upon us. Whether you loathe the holiday or just excited to get Lindt chocolates, watching a romantic film can be the best way to get through this holiday. My boyfriend hates romantic films and I always prefer watching them alone, so it works out perfectly for the both of us! Here are some unique films about love ..that I love!

Call Me By Your Name, 2017

Timothee. Chalamet. That’s all I’m gonna say. Kidding, but not really. What can I say? He’s an incredibly captivating actor...and he’s hot too. The back and forth, awkward chemistry of 2 people falling in love is always fun to watch especially when it’s beautifully executed like Timmy and Armie Hammer have done. The cherry on top was most definitely the cinematography of this film. Almost every single frame felt like poetry or like a beautiful still painting. 


500 Days of Summer, 2009

My boy Joseph Gordon-Levitt! How can you not love this guy? I love me a vulnerable boy and he plays it damn well. I love how this film portrayed the emotional expectations/ fantasies we place on people  and the idea of love. I remember watching this movie when I was newly single and coming out of a long term relationship and 100% feeling optimistic about love after watching it. It kinda feels like this movie was a love letter to hopeful singles out there. 
The spontaneous dance sequence is something I fantasize about in real life. They really captured what a moment of pure euphoria feels like.

The Fugitive Kind, 1964

Truth: This is the only Marlon Brando film I’ve ever seen.
Another Truth: I don’t want to see him in another role but this. I have to say I was short of breath watching him in this movie. No joke, he was like an Adonis. And his brutish way of speaking just had me at hello. This is also one of my favorite kind of love stories that I never get tired of: A younger man falling for an older woman. I believe Brando was 36 and Anna Magnani was 52. ( Okay, I googled it so it's factual) These 2 sharing the same screen is quite the spectacle. Anna Magnani holds her own next to Brando ( and her own Oscar). I highly recommend giving it a watch, if not for the tragic love story, at least for the invaluable acting lesson.

Funny enough, Brando played a character named Valentine.

How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days, 2003

A super duper underrated Rom-Com with the talented Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey. I say underrated because apparently it got 42% on Rotten Tomatoes. Clearly, the critics don’t fucking get it.
Kate truly surprised me in this movie. I was so amazed by her range, especially coming off of Almost Famous, another movie that I adore her in. Her comedic chops in this film were off the richter scale. She delivered the goofiness that I always love to see in women. Goofy is such an attractive trait! 
This is also one of those movies where you can tell the actors really had a blast doing. Their laughs and exchanges seem so authentic, there’s no way in hell they faked it.

Movies have always been my comfort, whether I was single or in a relationship. I would love to know what romantic movies you watch or if we're on the same wave length. Happy V-Day loves!
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Let’s Trade Closets!

Let’s Trade Closets!

Did you ever just open your closet and wish you could start over? I really have this urge to re-do my closet and pivot my style. My dream is to have my style be a mixture of Elizabeth Chambers, Taylor Hage, Kate Bosworth, and Shay Mitchell. I want to celebrate their amazing styles and why I appreciate them so much. So let’s deep dive into these stylish babes!

First of all, Elizabeth Chambers has amazing style. She is a mother and even her children are always dressed to perfection. I love that she is so feminine yet still keeps it interesting with every outfit she wears. She has impeccable taste and I can see her being best friends with Rachel Zoe. I think her style is so overlooked and underrated, so I just wanted her to know, I see you!

Next up, Taylor Hage! I’ve been following Taylor on instagram for years. Her handle is @TayHage. She always tries the latest trends and shows you how to wear it, which I love, because sometimes it’s hard to find where and how to work them in. She gives great outfit ideas and has wonderful natural style. She also has such a cute relationship with her husband. They are high school sweethearts ; athough that is completely irrelevant to her style. I just love them and their TikToks together warm my heart!

Now for Kate Bosworth who you may remember from such classics as Blue Crush and Win a Date with Tad Hamilton! Although, I don’t really like either film, she was definitely the shining star. Kate Bosworth has a condition called heterochromia iridis, this means that one of her eyes is half brown and half blue, while the other one is blue. This again has nothing to do with her incredible style, just more of a fun fact which I think only adds to her uniqueness. She has a classic look but isn’t afraid to really be bold with her style and take risks. She has an effortless way of pulling off complex looks. 

Last but not least, Shay Mitchell, who I think seems like a good friend and nice person (I have no evidence to back this up, just a gut feeling). I love Shay Mitchell’s style because of how much it has evolved throughout the years. Growing up in roughly the same time period as her, I can say the early 2000s were rough on all of us. However, she pulled through and now her style is better than ever. Her style is so versatile and I just love to see her put an outfit together!


I hope one day I can redo my closet or even (less likely to happen) swap closets with any of these ladies! In the mean time, I will keep dreaming and maybe one day my closet dreams will come true. 

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My So-Called Thrift Life

My So-Called Thrift Life

Thrift stores are my life. Yes, literally. Before you roll your eyes, I don’t mean that as a girl who is obsessed with the vintage-shopping aesthetic. I actually grew up with parents who ran their own thrift store since 1997.

To be real, I don’t remember caring so much about second-hand clothing, let alone my parents shop. I was a teenager who loved the latest trends from Mandees, Wet Seal, Contempo Casuals and Claire's. (Side note: I bought denim patch jeans from Contempo Causals because Christina Aguilera wore similar jeans in one of her music videos. Did I ever wear it in public? Nope. Did I wear them in my room and reenact the music video? Yup.

Contempo Casuals

2000 Jeans Pop inspired
I think like most kids, you tend to be really disinterested in what your parents do for a living. School work, MTV, and the complicated love life of my friends took up 99% of my attention. It was only up until the millennium hit, I started to get bored with the trends. It seemed like fashion was heading towards a “Y2K” direction, while I was just beginning to discover the different eras in fashion, like the 50’s -80s. All I wanted to wear were those stockings with the seam down the back of the leg and vintage costume jewelry. Jamie and I were teen girls with metro cards and no cellphones. We aimlessly walked around the city and would accidentally stumble across vintage gems. It was such thrill, like discovering new uncharted territory, but expensive territory.

Vintage Costume jewelry
It was only then that, I started to visit my parents shop a bit more frequently. My parents were really cool with me taking whatever I wanted, so I made sure I set aside cool pieces for my bestie and I. Since we were never invited to 50’s themed parties, we decided to throw one every Saturday night. We’d pick our favorite pin-up dress and emulate the pin-up models plastered on my wall. ( I wasn't going to share but honestly I dont think anyone will read this blog lol)

Sometimes I kick myself for being so blind to having free access to the vintage goldmine that was my parents shop. Could you imagine what my closet would've looked like if I saved every vintage piece my parents sold in the late 90s? Damn, my Depop shop would be lit af.

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Dating in 2021

Dating in 2021

I’m at the age now where most of my friends are either married or in serious committed relationships. It’s very boring but I still have a handful of friends that are single and dating right now. I think this is one of the most difficult time periods to date in; not only do you have to deal with dating apps, you also have to deal with people not being straightforward and ghosting you instead of expressing why they don’t want to be with you, and unrealistic expectations, just to name a few. 

Carrie Bradshaw Dating 2021 

We’ll start with dating apps. I know many people find love on dating apps. I think they can be an amazing tool if you know what you want and are not willing to settle or be swayed by a pretty face. The only problem with dating apps is that there are unlimited options for you. If you don’t like what one person does/says there’s someone else waiting to match with you. That makes it really hard to find a quality partner because you’re not taking the time to get to know the good and the bad. I know in my dating past, sometimes I was disappointed or annoyed however, how/when/if they redeemed themselves, ended up being the deciding factor as to whether I could see myself pursuing a relationship with them. I think it’s important to accept people’s imperfections, within reason. Not everyone will know what to say and do. I think that can actually be endearing. When someone knows what to say, usually they’re just saying what they know you want to hear. 

Cruel Intentions Stairs Dating in 2021 

Also, sometimes people are so afraid to ask for what they want, they end up settling for what the other person is willing to give. If you tell someone what you’re looking for and that scares them away, that wasn’t the person for you. I think we are so used to falling in love with what someone is on paper, that we really don’t want to let them disappoint us; so we make excuses for them or try to rationalize with a friend. The bottom line is if someone isn’t matching your effort, it’s because they don’t want to. 

 Mya Move on Dating in 2021

Back in May, I made a must have list for my friend as to what she should look for in a significant other. I had seen her left hurt so may times and I just wanted to give her a reminder of her worth and how she should expect to be treated. 


These are the things I told her to look for:


  • Someone who will match your effort and be willing to pursue you. ( Ex: If you plan the date, they’re willing to drive and get you, no questions asked.) 
  • Someone who shares your interests. You don’t want to date yourself but as long as, they can appreciate what you’re interested in. 
  • Someone who likes to watch you command a room. They are happy to let you shine.
  • Someone who is completely themselves, no matter the crowd. 
  • Someone who wants to give you all of their free time and that goes back to matching your effort. You have to sit back and do less. Let him rise to the occasion.
  • Someone who pays. This may be a controversial subject but especially when you first start dating him, he should always pay. It may seem trivial or shallow but I promise you it’s not. It isn’t that you as a woman can’t pay for yourself, of course you can! It’s that man worth dating, usually won’t let you. 
  • Someone who shares your sense of humor (pretty obvious). 
  • Their thoughts spark or challenge your own.
  • Someone who surprises you. 
  • Someone who is responsible and punctual. If he makes you wait, he’s not the one. 
  • Someone who shows up when you didn’t expect them to.
  • Someone who accepts your family and even if they’re not their cup of tea, doesn’t make you feel like you have to apologize for them.
  • Someone who is humble and doesn’t brag about anything.
  • Someone who stops to notice a cute animal or child. 
  • Someone who never makes you question if you are the only person on their mind.
  • Someone who keeps their phone out of their hand while on dates with you. 
  • Someone who has friends for a long period of time. 
  • Don’t talk negatively about yourself. Project confidence. 


I’m not a relationship guru or expert by any means. I just really feel for my friends trying to date right now because I know it isn’t easy. I’ve only picked up a few things that have helped guide me along the way, to not waste my time on assholes. A lot of it has to do with realizing your own self worth and being a good judge of character, which is hard when people are really good at hiding who they truly are. You will get hurt and fooled from time to time and that’s okay. The key is to be kind to yourself and realize dating should be fun and exciting, not terrible and nerve-racking. It’s especially hard right now but if love is a priority for you, be patient and take your time to find what you want and do what makes you feel happy. 

The Wedding Singer Drew Dating in 2021

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